Cuban Cigars

            I kind of liked the cigars that Ernie Hemingway gave me so I thought I would go out to the country to see where they are made.  I found this little hut on a farm.

            The door was open so I invited myself in.  Inside was this man.  I believe he was sent from central casting in Hollywood.  They asked for a Cuban Tobacco Farmer and they sent this guy.

            I asked why his hut had all this furry looking stuff hanging all over.  He explained that it was tobacco leaves set out to dry.

          I asked how these dried up piles of leaves turned into that nice smoke and he explained how the leaves are dried, cured and then rolled up.  He showed me and it certainly seemed easy enough.

          We hung out at his new car for awhile.

            Then he invited me into his house for a cuppa his home grown coffee and a cigar.


     I’ve been looking for her in all my travels and just can’t seem to connect.  I offered her a cigar but…

          She disappeared right after that.  I may have to give these things a second thought.  They don’t seem to be the plastic chick magnet I thought they would be.  It did attract these chicks though.

           I gave rolling my own a shot and got into a bit of a tangle so that the farmer had to assist me with it.

          Okay, I’ve learned a lot in Cuba so far.  Back off on the rum and the cigars.

Cuban Cigars, Rum, and Bucanero

            While looking at the big Barbie car, I noticed an intriguing establishment behind it. 

            I’ve had experience with pubs in many lands and this had all the right vibes.  I’m not too sure what a Daiquiri is, and it is too bad that some hood sprayed his name on the side of the building, but I would give it a try.

     Inside I met the Ernest fellow who said he was a writer.  I told him I saw his writing on the sign outside.   He told me he had just returned from Spain and was trying to put his experiences onto paper.  I told him about my adventures and he said he would write a book about them.  I told him about how my body parts can come off now and then and he told me he’d call the book “A Farewell To Arms”.

     I whispered a story in his ear about my trip to the Salton Sea.  He said he’d write about it and call it “The Old Man And The Sea”

     Who are you calling an old man, old man?  He took me to another of his hangouts.  It was a pretty crowded place but he still managed to get us a drop to drink.  It might have been because Ernie’s picture was everywhere here.

     Back at the Floridita, with a few more drinks dissolving my plastic innards, I started to feel an itching on my face.  Was I turning into Ernie Hemingway? 

     I thought I looked something like this Che guy I saw on the side of a wall.

       A few more drinks, and a beret from Che, and I was having the party of my life.  Havana Club Rum and the local Tu Kola combined to be the drink of the moment.  Viva Tu Kola!!

     Ernie threw in a couple cigars.  They were pretty big, and fire and plastic aren’t always good friends, but the rum kind of offset common sense.  Salude!!

     Ernie disappeared, saying something about hunting in Idaho.  It looked like I was on my own, and just a little impaired.  Things started getting a little blurry.  I understand I often look blurry in my pictures but, this time, I was seeing the blurry myself.  When I walked, there were little hurricanes swirling around my feet making the steps difficult.  Suddenly, the ground tilted and ….

     Things were getting out of hand.  I had reached my limit with rum.  I knew what I had to do.  It was a hard choice but I had to do it for my own good. 

                                                                    I switched to beer. 

Cuba has a wide variety of beers available; Cristal and Bucanero.  I dove right in…and was rescued immediately.  Luckily, I had befriended Hallie earlier in the trip.  She now saw me in peril and moved quickly to save me from further destruction.

     She plucked me from my Bucanero diving platform and explained the evils of my ways.  I vowed to change my ways and to never repeat my bad behavior.  Until next time.

                                                            Now those cigars were intriguing…