Mendocino Views

     Bubba survived his trip to France, Italy, and New York…barely.  When we all got back home, he claimed he was exhausted from all the drama and needed a vacation.  We packed up and took a trip to Mendocino on the Northern California coast.  Bubba has his own view of this trip.

        After the big trip, I needed a vacation.  Off we all went to the Northern California Coast to see nature and stuff.  The coastline is rocky and dramatic, with waves crashing on the rocks like a scene from a horror movie.  I kept looking for Alfred Hitchcock and a flock of birds.  Coves and inlets give the area a jagged coastline.

I found a nice fence rail to hang out on but it was a little slippery.

Not wanting to end up bouncing in the sea like a little yellow buoy, I decided it was time to retreat to the tiny town of Fort Bragg and refresh myself.  A nice lady at the North Coast Brewery’s restaurant saw me and knew right away just what I needed.

She gave me a little glass and a big boost so I could sample some of their finest Old Stock Ale.  Ahhh! Just what a guy like me needed after a hard day at sea.

        After the refreshments, I took a nature walk.  There are a lot of strange creatures and plants in the area.  If you are patient and are here at the right time of year, you can see seals, whales, and a horrifying creature that confronted me on the walk.  I was terrified, and quickly picked up a tree branch to defend the lives of Rick and Spider.  It was a long and vicious battle but I soon managed to run away and escape the beast.

We retreated to our hotel as the fog rolled in.  While the temperature inland was in the 90’s and 100’s it was a cool 75 here and dropping.

Back in the room, I threw some logs in the fireplace and lit a match.  I soon realized that is not a wise thing for a plastic person to do.

Bubba was rescued from the fireplace and recovered in time for the next day’s adventures.

Booked in New York

     Bubba got his computer issues resolved and would like to pick up his narrative where he left off.  He was helped by two friends, one from Paris and one from California, to mitigate a problem with a Parisian policeman who took issue with Bubba’s driving.  He was placed on a plane and sent to New York.

        I arrived in New York with my friends, my dignity, and my body parts intact.  After a very thorough pat down by Customs, we were free to see the city, or as much as we could cram in before our next flight.  We visited the building being erected on the site of the World Trade Center.

and we visited the Metropolitan Museum where I heard they had an exhibition on Poetry in Plastic.  I was wrong, It was something else altogether.  A great place but not a single plastic person to be found…

        Then we hit the best of the best.  This was Rick’s entire reason for visiting the city.  We went to The Mysterious Bookshop.  All crime in New York is petty without the crime fiction found within these walls.  The Mysterious Bookshop is run by crime fiction expert and publisher Otto Penzler and his indispensable staff. 

Rick was so moved that he proposed to Spider on the spot and Otto renewed their wedding vows.

I looked on as Best (little plastic) Man.  I picked out a few books to take home and stood on them for a better view.

And then… I SAW HER AGAIN!  I lost all interest in the wedding before me when I saw the lovely lady I first saw in the garden in Paris.  But there was a complication.

She was with someone else and he didn’t look as friendly as one would hope.  I wondered if their choice of books meant anything.  The Man in Black hustled her out of the door.  I tried to catch them.  I saw her board a plane and chased after them.   She was last seen on the airport monitor departing from runway 22R.

I will just have to keep traveling and keep looking.

No Tech Bubba

     We last left Bubba in a perilous situation.  A young lady who briefly entered his life sent him on a search through Paris.  Bubba met the Paris Police, and not in a good way.  He had to be rescued by friends from Paris and California and, as a result, was deported.  Bubba wanted to continue his story but, as will happen, the computer got in his way.

          Screens flashed in many colors.  Boxes popped up with warnings about corrupted things and a dozen letters-dot-some-more-letters that I didn’t understand.  One message said I must “reboot” the computer.  I don’t know who saw me kick it the first time but I tried it again.

I tried plugging and unplugging cords, but one of the cords took on a life of its own and decided to reboot me.

All that happened was this picture got stuck on the screen.

I tried calling Tech support.  I had some trouble at first because it told me to “Press 1”.  I tried and tried and nothing happened.  I even rebooted 1 with no result.

The nice calm recorded voice told me to go to their website and look for solutions and if they didn’t work, call back.  It then hung up on me.  MY COMPUTER DOESN’T WORK.  I CAN’T GO TO YOUR STINKIN’ WEBSITE!!!!


Finally I did get a real live person.  She told me what to do and I described what was happening.  I don’t know what happened but something worked and the computer came back to life.

Now that the problem is fixed, Bubba can continue his story from when he arrived in New York.  Will he find his pretty Plastic Partner?  Will he survive in the Big Apple?  Bubba is typing as we speak.

Bubba Gets Deported

     As you may recall, Bubba had a little problem with using a bicycle without permission.  We were summoned to the Palais de Justice to help him sort things out.  Paris is The City of Love and everyone was very accommodating when it was explained that he was just trying to catch up to a young (plastic) lady.  Bubba explains what happened next.

          Don’t listen to them.  I didn’t have any problems at all.  I spent the night in a nice hotel called Palais de Justice.

     They explained that the Bastille was booked up.  I searched all over the city for that vision of loveliness I had glimpsed the day before.  I searched down by the river.

     I searched in the art galleries.

      Well, I thought it was an art gallery.  I found out it was really a department store.  It was absolutely stunning.  It was almost hard to shop or look for anyone with your head looking to the ceilings.

     I looked underground in the catacombs.  But of course my delicate flower would not be seen here.

     I got lost in the underground maze of tunnels under Paris. I asked this man who is a pilot on one of those cut rate airlines and he pointed the way for me.

     I searched the rooftops and scanned the city.

     By evening I was beat and tried this big light pole thing.  It lit up so I could check out the crowd for her.

     I decided, if I were going to find her, I would have to cover more ground so I went in search of a motorcycle the next morning to scan the city with some speed.  I asked for directions in French, but I think I may be a bit rusty.  They sent me to this motorcycle shop.  Maybe these weren’t for rent.

     I saw these bikes around town and people seemed to get out of their way.  Maybe it was the lights and the noisemakers.  I saw they all came with a microphone in the front.

     And a telephone in the back.

     I found my old motorcycle parked here.  It had been impounded when someone tried to smuggle it in from Pisa where I left it.  I was pretty happy to be on my way, but maybe I should have used a little more caution.  On the way out of the garage, I had a close encounter with a man in uniform.  I may have worn out my welcome.

     In trouble again, I called on my Parisian friend Phil, who could do anything.  He helped Chief Scott from California come over and make a deal to set me free.  Scott drove as fast as he could and got there in no time.

     Unfortunately the deal they worked out meant I had to cut my vacation short and head home.  They had a special flight for me called “First Flight Out”.  This one didn’t go home, it just went as far as New York.  The Paris Police must have put in a good word for me because the customs people were much nicer than usual.

A Day in Paris

     While we went out sightseeing, Bubba spent a day out on his own.  I told him to be careful, but Bubba is Bubba…

          It was suggested that I might not need a car.  Of course I rejected that recommendation and rented a Bubba sized car.  I found a slick model with a blue bumper and, the night before, I found a parking place at the end of the street.  There was no room for anyone behind me and I felt I would be able to get the car on the road easily the next morning.  I was wrong.  Someone found a way to box me in.

     I saw a motorcycle with the keys in it and thought maybe I would borrow it but a large cat beat me to it.

     I heard the Metro was good but do you know how many feet there are in there?  Besides, I couldn’t jump high enough to read the map.  Wait, is that Blair reading the map? 

     I tried walking but got lost right off.  I met some wonderful people from England, Steven and Marion, who tried to tell me what streets to use but I just couldn’t get it.  They ended up putting me in the map so I could understand.

     Rick and Spider had no problem finding their way around Paris but I was not as lucky.  This is a pedestrian friendly city in most places but the distances were too far.  The Metro is great; fast and efficient.  The trains run about five minutes apart so there is little waiting, but that third rail was way too intimidating.    I just had to jump in and go.  Maybe find my old motorcycle and use that.  I found a place to work out my problems.

     They had some exquisite wine called Chateau Egouts.  It was a little strong so I took it easy.  This guy, however, had a bit too much and took the term “plastered” one step too far.

     I tried to pull him out but just couldn’t get the strength.

     It was while walking through a lovely garden that the event happened that would change my life.  I was wandering from flower to flower when I saw HER.  She was across the flower box from me.  A Parisian vision of beauty.  A bon jeune fille if ever I saw one.  I had to meet her.

      In my best French I yelled, “BONE…JER” which I think means good morning.  She ran off down the street and I couldn’t catch up to her.  The big dog got in my way.

     I found a couple of unattended bikes and grabbed one.  In hindsight, that was a BIG mistake.

     Possibly Bubba’s biggest mistake to date.  He did not get far as he couldn’t reach the pedals and was apprehended.  He was taken to the Palis de Justice and we were summoned.  Bubba’s future freedom was on the line.

     Oh, and Chateau Egouts?  Not so good as Egouts is French for sewer.


Return to Paris

     The stop in Switzerland was long enough for Bubba to hurt himself by eating too much chocolate and to embarrass us all by attacking a statue.  The next morning we got on the train for the ride to Paris.  Returning to Paris was bittersweet.  Paris is a wonderfully modern and ancient city all at the same time.  Any time spent in Paris is time that will stay in your memories. 

But our second stop in Paris also meant we would be heading for home soon.  Bubba wanted more time to explore the city so we stayed a bit longer.

          I love Paris!!  It is a laid back city with cafes where they sell coffee in little cups.  A person, even one my size, can stroll through the city and stop to sip a cup.  Rick and Spider met up with some friends from home, Fred and Marilyn one morning.  Marilyn stopped drinking her coffee and I took the opportunity to add five cubes of sugar to sweeten it up for myself.  I was stirring the cup when they noticed me.  I don’t think she minded but Fred took his cup and dropped it right on top if me.  It got dark in there.

After escaping the cup, I took a walk around the Montmartre district where many famous painters lived, worked and played.  There are still many artists who work in the area.

They all shouted and begged me to sit for a painting.  Some of the biggies of French art like Picasso, Monet, and Van Gough hung out here so the standard is high.  I looked at all the painter’s works and I choose the best of the bunch.   In turn, I was rewarded with this great painting. 

It is now hanging in the Louvre.  We then visited the Pere Lachaise Cemetery.  Even if you don’t like cemeteries this is a place to visit for the sculptures.

But I was here to visit the grave of Jim Morrison from the Doors.

I thought it was time to and go back to the hotel when this guy asked me how to spell my name.